oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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