So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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