Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I licked your asshole in confidence.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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