My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
