Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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