Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Randomize
