i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
