went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
im holly from the hills drunk
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Randomize
