Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
