I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
