You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Randomize
