hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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