Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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