I hate all girls vehemently.
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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