how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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