Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
