The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize
