Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
