I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
