The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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