i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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