he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
where are my eyebrows?
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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