It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I enjoy the company of your penis
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
