and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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