my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
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