i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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