That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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