Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
There's always time for handjobs
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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