Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Randomize
