What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Randomize