So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
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