and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
