Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Randomize
