It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
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