ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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