And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
