Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
