Where is the hickey?
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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