it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Randomize
