Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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