I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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