im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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