I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
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