I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
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