It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
