so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
