No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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