I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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