I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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