What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
