Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
