If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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