Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
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i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
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Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
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