when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
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