I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
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