We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office